Over and Over
by Happy Emo
Summary: I never really did find out what about him got to me so much. I wouldn’t smile, laugh along or even talk to him. I would just... watch.' One shot, SASUNARU shonenai, Character death. Another Happy Emo FanFic


Authors Notes: Well hiya Welcome to Yumi-Chan's (me) second SasuNaru fan fiction. Actually… my second fan fiction in general. Though it is my first songfic. I was just listening to my Three Days Grace CD… and then this song came up. As lame as it sounds, it is such a heartfelt song. And being the Shonen-ai/Yaoi fan girl I am… SasuNaru just automatically came to my head. If you're into three days grace or emotional music, I definitely request downloading this song. There is so much feelings contained within the words! Anyways, enough rambling from me. And onward with the story. Enjoy

And yes, I realize that I am writing this at the moment rather than the (hopefully) anticipated new chapter of "In Your Eyes". I'm sorry about that. My computer has crashed completely… so "In your eyes" was deleted from it. And I am unable to write at home (since I can't use my parents computer to write) so I have to go to my dear Rai-Rai's house in order to write. So sad, eh? I know, a lot of my precious fans are probably screaming at me at the moment, telling me to get my ass back onto the new chapter rather than one shots. Buuuut, I've been showered with cases of serious writers block. And confusion. So sorry, I shall get working on the next chapter of In Your Eyes right after I finish this. (I'm so irresponsible.)

Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto… Sasu-kun and Naru-chan would be fucking each other right about now. Nope, Naruto and all its non-shonen-ai-ness (that's why its left to the fans) belongs to Masashi Kishimoto-sama.

Summary: An angst songfic, held in Sasuke's point of view. Sharing his feelings about Naruto throughout his life. And never choosing to share his feelings, then regretting it all when it became too late.

Slightly AU storyline.

Song used: Over and Over – Three Days Grace

Warnings: Some swearing within the story. Quite a severe amount of angst. Main character death. And the fact that this story doesn't have a happy ending and may not turn out how you wanted it to. And SasuNaru. **Spoilers** for those who haven't read much of the Naruto manga (or seen much of the anime.) You should know about the fight with Haku and Zabuza and the fight between Naruto and Sasuke (which is quite a ways away in the story line) before reading in order to avoid confusion.

* * *

**Over and Ove****r**

_I feel it everyday it's all the same  
It brings me down but I'm the one to blame  
I've tried everything to get away  
_

I had always been curious over that young boy… he was always so full of spirit. Constantly trying to get people to notice him. Though no one ever really did. But… it was always so much more than just ignoring him. People hated him. They _loathed_ him. But not me, I never did show it. But the young blonde always intrigued me. I remember… just watching him. And I never really did find out what about him got to me so much. I wouldn't smile, laugh along or even talk to him. I would just… watch.

Naruto… At that age, all I knew him by was the blonde hair, orange jump suit and his idiocy. I wanted to get to know him, but I was scared. There was always something about his freedom that struck me as odd. And of course, getting to know him would mean conversation…. But being my selfish self, I was unable to talk, and I hated myself for it.

Years continued to pass, we noticed each other everyday within the academy… well, at least I noticed him. He had always been the underdog within those years. Always failing, being an idiot and trying as hard as humanly possible to gain attention. But it never worked for him. What I also noticed though… was how he looked at me. Eyes filled with envy and hate… constantly. I tried to ignore it, but he would still just glare at me. So, being the idiot I am. I chose to glare back. That was pretty much the very start of our rivalry.

_So here I go again  
chasing you down again  
why do I do this?_

We are now graduates of the ninja academy. Hah, through all those useless pranks, Naruto managed to pass too. I sat there with an almost invisible smirk. My "rival" passed. I was glad. I looked to my right, speak of the devil… there sat the idiot himself. Most likely trying his best to ignore me. Oh well, no matter how much my curiosity persuades me, I'll just have to play along with his little game.

"Sasuke-kuuun!" A shrill voice penetrated through the air. I flinched in my seat and looked over once again. Oh joy. There stood one of the most annoying fan girls on the face of the earth, Sakura. Whom, at the moment, was being ogled by Naruto. I have absolutely no idea what he sees in her… and I probably never will. "Can I sit by you? Sasuke-kun?" Uggh. There she goes with the '-kun' again. Why do the gods hate me so much? I chose not to answer, and just looked straight forward as she pushed Naruto aside and squirmed closer to me. I looked over slightly, and in my view was a blushing Sakura, a fuming Naruto… and a bunch of pissed off girls boring holes in Sakura's head by usage of glares.

I looked down at the table to let out an annoyed sigh. My head shot up as a loud thump was heard in front of me, followed by the creak of a desk. _Wow, that was sudden._ My eyes widened slightly and I leaned back, in order to create a bit more 'personal' space for myself. Seeing as a large pair of cerulean eyes were peering at me intensely… about two inches from my face.

"Naruto! What are you doing!" The girls squealed from beside them.

Naruto just emitted a low growling noise and continued glaring at me. I chose to glare back. Bad idea. Soon enough, I found myself lost in his gaze. What was it about this guy I was so interested in? Why did I always catch myself wondering about him? Or even STARING at him? What was I so curious abo— Ah, that was it. I came to my conclusion while locking lips with my 'rival'. I think my eyes almost popped out of their sockets just then. Oh. My. God. I'm kissing Naruto. Well, I wouldn't exactly consider this a kiss. I don't know what the hell this is… but, I have to end it. I don't want to be questioned! Especially seeing as I have come to my final conclusion.

I pulled away abruptly. Hoping that the 'kiss' only lasted for a matter of mere seconds. Was I blushing? I can't tell. Damn. Well, play along Sasuke… play along. I sighed on the inside, as the outside me began cursing at the blond vociferously.

Well, after that harsh experience. At least I know what I was so curious about with him. Yep, I am attracted to Uzumaki Naruto. The classroom idiot.

_  
Over and over, over and over  
I fall for you  
Over and over, over and over  
I try not to  
_

Walls of ice surrounded the two of us. Naruto, and me trapped within a jutsu. We were both reaching our limit, thin needles piercing through our skin at every possible moment. My body was going numb; I could barely feel a thing. _Damn, damn, DAMN. What now?_ I stepped forward, faces the image of the young ninja within the mirrors. Closing my eyes for a short moment, I concentrated my chakra, a strange sensation filling my head temporarily. I opened my eyes suddenly, revealing the Sharingan.

Oh yes, everyone be in awe right now. Sharingan, yahoo. Yeah I know, last of a dying clan. If I wasn't in this half-dead situation… I wouldn't exactly resort to this. Still kind of awkward to me at this age.

I paused shortly, watching as Haku looked towards Naruto. My eyes quickly strayed to the helpless boy. My red eyes grew wide; he was going to go after Naruto. No… I can't let that happen.

My heart pounded within my chest as my injured and bleeding legs carried me as fast as possible. There was a sudden moment of… nothing. Then the needles tore through my skin. I clenched my teeth as blood spurted from my mouth. Why do I do this? Why would I go so far for someone like him…? I stumbled backwards awkwardly.

"S-Sasuke…?" I heard a shaky voice question from behind. "Wh-Why…?"

"I used to hate you Naruto." I answered back, struggling to stay standing. I couldn't take this. I was losing it. _But now I know… I love you, Naruto._ I only wish I could say that out loud. I only wish that I could gather up enough courage to state my feelings. Isn't it too soon to be feeling this anyways? Who knows? I love Naruto… And I'm too scared to say it. Even at my last moments in life.

"Why the hell did you do that Sasuke!" Naruto hollered from behind.

"How the hell would I know, Dobe? My body just moved on its own…." I replied, my voice beginning to shake. No, I couldn't take it anymore… my vision started to become blurry as I fell backwards. Expecting the hard ground that was soon going to come in contact with my limp body. But no, instead… I felt arms wrap protectively around me. My body quivers and I look up for the last time, into the eyes of the one I love. He's… crying? "Naruto…" My voice trails off. And all that I know now… is darkness.

_  
It feels like everyday stays the same  
It's dragging me down and I can't pull away  
So here I go again  
Chasing you down again  
Why do I do this?  
_

_What have I done…?_ I look down into the sorrowful and hurt eyes below me. _I… I tried to kill him… my best friend._ I stood there, shaking, as Naruto lay on the damaged ground. I walk towards him slowly, as his eyes lose all life within them and close. _I did all this… for what? Power?_ Tears began unknowingly streaming down my face as I looked at the motionless blond. An odd sensation filled my body, reaching my heart suddenly. I gasped and clutched my chest as the pain filled my body. Blood spurted from my mouth as I let out a wheezing cough. I collapsed down onto my knees, then fell forward, my body quivering heavily. A light sound was heard from above me and I open my eyes, feeling the dampness spreading onto my back as the rain began to pour from the skies. I open my eyes wearily, and stay there calmly as I stare at the still face of Naruto. Our faces almost an inch apart.

"Naruto… I know you can't hear me…. But, I'm sorry. I don't want you to forgive me. I don't deserve it. But I'm… sorry. I— I love you… Naruto." I sobbed quietly, while remaining on the ground above Naruto. "I'm sorry…." I leaned forward slightly and instantly connected with the lifeless lips. They're cold… but I still keep my lips connected in the chaste, though unresponsive kiss. I slowly part, and look at him again. A choking sob escaped from my mouth before I quickly pressed my lips to his forehead now. A rustle in the bushes was heard a little ways away. I quickly parted from Naruto and rushed as fast as I could into the forest. To my destination. To the place I killed Naruto over. All for power…. Orochimaru.

Over and over, over and over  
I fall for you  
Over and over, over and over  
I try not to  
Over and over, over and over  
You make me fall for you  
Over and over, over and over  
You don't even try

**Four Years Later**

Naruto had survived. I tried to kill him with all I had in order to gain power. And he survived. Secretly, that made me… so happy. I'd never be able to be like Naruto. After all that I put him through, he forgives me, treats me like a brother and acts like none of it happened. Yes, after three years, Naruto was able to take me back from Orochimaru. So now, I reside once again in the place I love, Konoha. I've been living here again for two years since I was brought back. Naruto and me have never been closer. Of course, the both of us still fight, spar and argue. But never meaningfully.

And through those years and many hours spent together… I have not yet managed to tell Naruto how I feel about him. It's sad really. To be this afraid of something I try desperately to achieve. I want to tell him. I want to love him while he knows. But what I also want… is for him to love me. And by telling him. I may only scare him away. And end our friendship.

I breathed in the warm air, sighing contently as I lay by the side of the pond. I love to come here, to relax, to empty my mind and just… do nothing. It was a peaceful place. In which Naruto and me stumbled across one day while sparring. Only the two of them really knew where it was, and they wanted to keep it that way.

My eyes closed and there was a moment of silence until… "WAKE UP BASTARD!" I flinched and growled, my eyes opening only to stare into the clear aqua ones of Naruto. Whom was leaning over me and about an inch away from my face, grinning insanely. My face turned red suddenly as I noticed the small distance between us. But I didn't mention it, I just lay there, with Naruto over me, getting lost in his eyes. Those emotion filled eyes….

"Uhmm… Sasuke…? You okay?" Naruto leaned back a bit, in order to provide more room.

"O-Oh… yeah…"

Naruto just raised an eyebrow and stood up from his position above me. His face returning to its regular, energy filled self. _For a seventeen-year-old… he sure acts like an idiot._ "Alright. But… Guess whaaat?"

"Hn. Just tell me." I responded. Naruto frowned childishly.

"With that attitude, maybe I won't tell you."

I cocked an eyebrow at him from my position on the ground. Then muttered, "Fine by me, you can go now." I smirked as Naruto let out a small growl and my eyes closed for a moment. At least, it was peaceful again… until a large weight threw itself onto me. I peered into Naruto's eyes again. Who was now straddling me and had my arms pinned above me. Yep, I was now blushing intensely. Naruto leaned closer. _Holy shit…_.

"Okay fine. What now?"

"YAY! You're cooperating!" I glared at that. "A-Anyways… Jiraiya taught me a new Jutsu."

"Oh? Can you show me?"

Naruto paused for a moment, but didn't move off of Naruto. "No…."

"And why is that? Usually you'd be ecstatic to show me a new Jutsu. You know, to show me how much stronger you are then me?" I chuckled, a mocking tone in the last statement. Naruto paused for even longer this time, his eyes showing a slightly saddened expression now. "Naruto?"

"It would take my life." My eyes widened at this, his arms letting go of the grip on my hands. "Its to use… in very serious situations."

"Naruto."

"Hm?"

I lifted my arms and wrapped them around his back, pulling him down onto me. Naruto gasped slightly but then relaxed in my arms. "Promise me one thing… that you won't ever use it." Yeah, yeah. We were being extremely cheesy and mushy right now. And my heart was pretty much going to explode with emotion. But I really did not want him to use it. No matter what. I didn't want to lose Naruto.

Naruto looked up at me, a new and unreadable emotion filling his eyes. "Okay." He lay his head down onto my chest. We just continued to lie there, enjoying each other's company. _Will I ever be able to tell him how I feel…?_

I've always wondered how things turned out like this. Looking back on my life… it kind of… doesn't make sense. A strong rivalry, slowly earning each other's friendship to very serious fights and now… an extremely close friendship. It's a pretty messed up timeline if you ask me. But I don't care, and in my opinion, neither does Naruto. And I want to leave it like that… at least for now. I want to be able to hold him like this, to comfort him, without it being awkward. That's why I'm scared to tell him. I don't want to lose this…. I don't want to lose Naruto.

_  
So many thoughts that I can't get out of my head  
I try to live without you, every time I do I feel dead  
I know what's best for me  
But I want you instead  
I'll keep on wasting all my time_

_**Two Years Later**_

There was a nearby explosion and I stumbled backwards as the debris flew by. I adjusted my anbu mask after regaining my stance. Why did I ever choose this position? Well, I tell others its in order to protect the village. But the real reason… is to protect Naruto. The two of us had become Anbu a couple months ago. And at the moment, were struggling to keep an opposing village outside of Konoha. We are greatly outnumbered. Though still doing somewhat fine. Many anbu and Jounin were dropping to the ground by the second. Even some strong chunin's were able to join the battle. Anything to help Konoha I heard a struggled gasp from the right of me, I look over. There was Naruto on the ground, holding his side while emitting an angered growl.

"Sasuke… we're running out of ninja fast. We'll never be able to beat these guys." Naruto said as he adjusted his mask ((which happened to be a fox, wow. Bet you didn't expect that, eh?)) and stood. Stopping an oncoming opponent with use of a kunai.

"So… what are you suggesting we do?" I was panting heavily. Using fire Justus's in pretty much every direction. Naruto just eyed me with a serious look on his face. My eyes widened in shock. "No… no Naruto. You can't!"

"Sasuke. Its for Konoha." He retorted shakily.

"NO!" I was instantly in front of Naruto, grabbing the collar of his jacket and throwing him up against the wall behind him. I held him against it. "I can't let you use it."

"There's no time for you two to be fighting!" Kiba called from a ways away.

"Shut up dog boy!" Naruto yelled back. But then returned his attention to me. "I don't want to Sasuke… but if I don't, then we'll all end up dying anyways."

There was a long moment of silence between us. I removed my hands from Naruto but still stood there. My eyes lowered to the ground. "Sasuke…" I looked up slowly. But right after my eyes connected with Naruto's… so did our lips. My heart pounded quickly. _Naruto's kissing me?_ I just stood until my friend pulled away. Did that really just happen?

Naruto looked at my shocked expression, "Sasuke I'm sorry. I didn't m— " I quickly wrapped my arms around his waist and pulled him in for another kiss. Naruto responded almost instantly, leaning into me to deepen it. My body was filled with so much emotion. _He feels the same way…?_ A content sounding moan escaped from me. Naruto just held me closer. That is… until another explosion erupted from behind us, the force throwing us apart and meters away. I coughed and pulled myself off the ground, as did Naruto. Who rushed over to me. "I'm sorry Sasuke, I have to." Naruto dug his hand into his pocket and pulled out a slightly crumpled envelope.

"What's this?" I took it, on the paper was my name scrawled by Naruto.

"Something I've been keeping for a very long time… I think you should have it now." Naruto gulped and turned away from me. I was silent, then nodded. Following him as he walked a bit closer to the battle.

Naruto took in a deep breath and clapped his hands together in an unknown seal. He held it for a second and then pulled them apart. Holding his arms straight out at either sides of his. His left hand was engulfed in a blue chakra, while his right was covered in a deep crimson fire like chakra. The blue escaped from his hands first, covering all of Konoha and its ninja in the light. I felt a warm sensation emitted from my body as the blue light covered itself over me. I felt protected… and safe. Naruto quivered slightly as the red chakra now escaped his right hand. A crackling noise was heard as the red Chakra practically exploded from his hand. I began shaking in fright. The explosion engulfed the land around them, taking all of the opponents down. I heard Naruto let out a loud sob. He was shaking ferociously, having almost convulsion like spasms.

"Naruto!" I tried to rush forward, but the chakra held me still. "YOU PROMISED!"

The last thing I remember… is a huge explosion, it took out all of the enemies… and Naruto with it. Then it all went black.

"He's in shock. Get out a stretcher and take this one to the hospital." A female voice called out. _Sakura?_ I sat up painfully, peering around at my surroundings. _What just happened? Where's Na—_! "NARUTO!" I began breathing heavily as it all came back to me. "NARUTO!" I stared at the spot where Naruto had disappeared… there was nothing. Nothing but the disturbed dirt on the ground. No signs of him… nothing.

"He's gone Sasuke-kun. He did it to save us all." A voice cooed from behind. A hand was placed on his shoulder. I turned my head and looked into the sorrowful eyes of my female teammate.

"But he promised…" I choked out. I was probably acting so childish right now. But did I care? No… My friend just died, my best friend just sacrificed himself for us all… my rival… the one I loved. I looked down at my hands. There it was, the last item I ever received from Naruto. That envelope. Thick tears were now streaming down my face. I couldn't take this. I want to die! "I want to DIE!"

Arms placed themselves around me and pulled me onto my feet. "C'mon Sasuke-kun."

The hospital room was quiet… lonely and… smelt too _clean_.I just sat there, staring at the envelope. I didn't want to open it… yet I did want to. I didn't want Naruto to come flooding back into my mind… yet I wanted to remember everything. I was in total bewilderment. The creaking of a door interrupted my thoughts.

"Sasuke?" I looked up.

"Oh… Kakashi."

My former sensei sighed heavily and sat at the end of my bed. Staying quiet for a moment. "You understand he needed to do it, right?" I just chose not to reply. "Jiraiya knew that he'd have to use it someday… and he knew that Naruto would have enough courage… enough love for his home. That he'd use it. In order to protect us all… and you." I looked up at him mournfully.

"He… promised though. I thought he'd keep that promise…."

"Hm? Promise?"

"… He promised me not to use it. When we were seventeen. He… promised." I let out a dry sobbing noise.

"Sasuke… I know how you felt about him… I always knew. And… I knew how he felt about you too."

"What? You knew? And… you didn't do anything about it?" I was shocked… completely _stunned_. "NOTHING!"

"I wanted you two to find out for yourselves. I didn't want to interfere. You understand right? I never knew it would all end up like this Sasuke. Don't go blaming others now. You never did anything about it either…."

"Oh, and he did!" I fumed and pulled myself out of the hospital bed. Grabbing the envelope and rushing out the doors.

The air was calm and cool. Though there was a sad feeling along with it. Something I couldn't quite point out… but it was easy to sense that the town was perturbed this morning. My mind was blank; I had no idea where I was even going. But my feet took me there. A place where my mind, and my heart… were trying to avoid. I arrived slowly, as soon as my feet touched the cool grass… I just stopped. It was the place Naruto and me had spent many hours at… the place where we could always find each other in times of need. It was _our place_. I forced myself to walk forward and sit on the large rock platform. Where you were able to overlook the entire pond. I inhaled and closed my eyes, taking in the soothing air and letting my mind momentarily drift… to Naruto. I could almost hear his laughter around me. And… I even forgot he was gone.

'_Hey Sasuke!'_ I heard his cheery voice call out.

"What do you want Dobe?" I opened my eyes and looked around. Only to see the water, grass, trees and no Naruto. Then I looked down at the crumpled object in my lap. Sighing in defeat, I took it within my hands and carefully tore it open. "Here it goes… Dobe."

'_-Dear Uchiha Sasuke.  
__That sounds too formal…  
__-Here you go… bastard who has ruined my life.  
__Yeah, that's better._

_Anyways. I have come to realize many things about you through my life. Some things I learned to accept, some things I was in denial about, and some things I made up… in order to make myself avoid those issues I denied Am I confusing you yet? Because I'm confusing myself…._

_Sasuke, I've always felt strange about you. At first… I had no idea what it was. I went through my life struggling to find out. While forcing myself, all at the same time, to try and hate you. But… no matter how much it showed, I never did hate you. Never. Maybe it was envy in the beginning, I don't know. The sad part too is that… I never did love Sakura. Hell, I never even crushed on her! Sure she's cute and all but… no. Once again, it was something I forced myself to do. For the longest time until I couldn't take it anymore. The one who I always felt for… was someone else. Someone way different then Sakura. I could probably even consider that person a rival. I always 'hated' that person. Yet always loved that person too._

_I'm sorry. Saying this will probably ruin all that we have, the small fragments of friendship that me and you have conjured up between each other. I hope you don't hate me. I have no idea how you feel towards me Sasuke. You're so distant… and alone. Kind of like me, eh?_

_I should just cut to the chase right…? Its you, Sasuke. It always has been you. Even if I was too thick to realize it through all those years. I love you, Sasuke. I know it… I. Love. You._

_And I always will…. But, please, don't hate me for it. I'm scared Sasuke. That's why… you'll probably never receive this. Because I know… that you'll never feel the same._

_Love, your Dobe.  
__-Uzumaki Naruto.  
__Age 15.'_

My face felt wet once again… but a small smile was on my face. "You loved me too… for that long." I let out a contented sigh. "Don't worry Naruto, I feel the same way. I always have and always will for you. I love you too, Dobe." My eyes drifted close and I lay there… holding the letter to my chest and bearing a smile on my face. Slowly drifting into thought while hearing Naruto's laugh around me… and picturing his smile.

_  
Over and over, over and over  
I fall for you  
Over and over, over and over  
I try not to  
Over and over, over and over  
You make me fall for you  
Over and over, over and over  
You don't even try to  
_

**-End-

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Authors Notes: **Well now, that was quite different from what I usually write. I have rarely ever attempted angst. Hopefully you like it as much as you enjoy "In your eyes" And if you're a new fan of mine, then hopefully you just like my work in general.**

**Hmm. A happier ending then I expected. At first I was thinking about killing Sasuke too. By drowning him in the pond (MWAHAHA) but… meh, I thought that'd be a bit too evil. So I just had it end this way. And you guys can create your own ending for it I guess. In your minds. Ooooh God I'm cheesy.**

**Yes, I realized that I changed the dialogue within the original parts in Naruto. But that's because I hate copying it exactly. Fan fictions are left to imagination right? So I changed what they said, and maybe even a bit of how some things occurred. No need to nag at me about it.**

**Well, I'm actually quite proud of how this turned out, my first angst, songfic and one shot. Hopefully you all enjoy it as well. Look forward to more loveable Shonen-ai by me in the near future.**

**Reviews are loved.**

**Flames are laughed at.**

**They keep me amused.**

**Flamers only write what they do in order to show that they have no talent in this particular subject. Its called envy.**

**Please read the two other "Happy Emo" fan fictions. 'In your eyes' (written by me) and 'This is how it goes' (written by Rai-Chan). **

**DOWNLOAD THE SONG! xD**


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